1/12/21 – 8:06 P.M.
I just want to start expressing my gratitude for what I have learned and what I am learning. I have tried to start this blog for months and I am not giving myself permission to start because I am setting myself up for failure. I have a fragile ego and I completely shattered it earlier this afternoon. I had a page of promising brainstorming and I thought I would change the world this day without following any of my principles. These rituals, these traditions, these facts, this merging of science, religion, and spirituality; whatever you refer to it as, is the only practice that matters. Everything else is trivial. I can beat myself up or I can show up for a meeting of meditation at the time it is assigned, even if the only audience is a tree. I can write my affirmations before I write anything else. I can light an incense so I do not manifest a toxic vibe, immediately! I cleanse the air and I can breathe again. It is that simple.
I am not going to get bogged down in expectations. I will edit for the sake of it, but I want to keep this as original to my thought process as possible so the reader can understand the creative process. I see myself not so much as a teacher but a guide. I can explain this in detail down the road. There are two people that are my reason for getting this far. Tom Bilyeu, who I have not the energy to fully embrace at this moment, and Seth Godin, who I will try my best to mirror with his blog by posting something everyday. My caveat will be that I will double my productivity rate. In other words, my goal is to fill one page on my google sheet. If I miss a day I will do two.
This will more or less be a journal, but this is practice. I can not reach for the stars if I don’t even know how to lift my arm upwards to the sky. For all I know my arm is broken, metaphorically speaking. I have to simplify this as much as possible. I must learn how to crawl before I can walk and I must learn how to talk before I can write.
Why is this? Writing is not a precursor to speech, but an extension of it, a grander and more extravagant form of communication. It bridges the gap between what we can easily say and what we can easily not say. This is the reason I love writing.
I also love meditation and it is my anchor for all actions. I must always see it as such, not a chore that I can knock out as soon as possible or get to later when I feel like it. This is my big mistake. The musician Jonathan Richman expressed my sentiments best when he titled one of his albums “Not so much to be Loved, as to Love” For this is my sole purpose. Without it there is no meaning to my life, and if that is the case I will have no further desire to live.
This is my truth to tell as I desire, and I will not let it go without dignity or pride. I owe a lot of explanations to a lot of people, but the universe also owes the same to me. What I did not realize is that this is all within my grasp, all within my control.
This blog will be my vessel to float upon the eternal sea we gather upon known as the internet. I feel that I have achieved a certain enlightenment in regards to how to use the internet, and I wish to spread this gift to any who will listen and open their heart. This vortex does not have to be the cesspool of filth that popular culture is demonizing it with.
Open your mind, your sense, most of what you understand about the world is a lie, not a truth. I will end tonight with this, my first quote; “Listen Long and Prosper;”
The Meanthead 